Dave McD's

T-Two-Stroke
Page
 


This page is dedicated to all of those

 

 
Ear Splitting
 
-----underpowered-----
 
Gas Guzzling
SLIMY
VIBRATING
GNIRIF-KCAB

MONSTER MUFFLER

SCREAMING BANSHEES
 
whose owners continually ignore their problems
simply because
T-Two-Strokes
Are Cheap!
  

Keep on scrolling down,
Or use these shortcuts to navigate your way through
Dave McD's T-Two-Stroke Page:
 
Learn why Four-Strokes are BETTER than T-Two-Strokes!
 
Learn the Secret Codes of the T-Two-Stroke Brand Names
 
Find out if your plane DESERVES a T-Two-Stroke!
 
Save money by Converting a 4 Stroke to a T-Two-Stroke!
 
 
Why
T-Two-Strokes
Suck!
 
They are HARD TO START!

They are HARD TO ADJUST!

They are FUEL HOGS!

They RUN ROUGH!

They are NOT RELIABLE!

They WON'T IDLE!

They have POOR TRANSITION!

They are TOO HEAVY!

They have LESS USABLE POWER!

They are TOO LOUD!

They have an IRRITATING SOUND!

They JUST RUN LIKE $#!+......PERIOD!

 

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After an exhaustive 3 minute investigation, I've finally cracked the
 

SECRET CODES

that all of the T-Two-Stroke manufacturers
use to describe their products.

Here, for the first time, are the

TRUE MEANINGS

of the T-Two-Stroke brand names that you are familiar with:



 

Almost Spins Propeller

Engine Not Yet Affordable

Heavy Paperweight

Modelers Are Getting Nearly Useless Motor

Made by Disgruntled Soviets

Overpriced $tuff

Seriously Under Powered Engines Ruin
The Italian's Great Reputation Entirely

Terrible Tempered

Wind-up Engine Before Releasing Airplane

Yep! Sucks!

 
 
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 Does your plane
DESERVE
a T-Two-Stroke?
 
 
Finding out is really quite easy.  Just take this little quiz.
 
Sit down, close your eyes, relax...
and remember when you were at the flying field with your new plane...
and all of your flying buddies were gathered around it.
 
All you remember hearing was them heaping praise on your magnificent plane...
and also their comments on your unequaled building and piloting talents.
 
You eagerly answered all of
 their questions about your latest pride and joy!
 
Now think back...
Did you ever say...or hear:
 
 

"Patch?   WHAT patch?"

"The wing is SUPPOSED to be twisted!"

"It NEEDS all of that left thrust to fly good!"

"Those ragged glue joints were ALWAYS there!"

"The landing gear was DESIGNED to break off!"

"WRECKED?  No!  It's brand new!  Why do you ask?"

"I really didn't need ALL of those wing bolts anyway!"

"Fuel soaked?  No, the kit CAME with colored, greasy wood!"

"Best flying plane I EVER had!"  (others never actually flew)

"Hi!  My name's Fast-Eddie!   I used to own that plane!"


 

If any of these sounded familiar,
then there's no doubt about it:

Your plane definitely deserves a
T-Two-Stroke!

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Save Money by Converting a 4-Stroke into a
Simulated T-Two-Stroke!
 

So you STILL want to own a T-Two-Stroke???

But you just can't come up with that much money?
Don't panic!!!  I've got the solution to your problem!

Just follow these ten simple step-by-step instructions to build your own substitute

T-Two-Stroke engine(?).......for just a fraction of the cost!


1.   Obtain the worst running 4-Stroke that you can find.
(to simulate the BEST running T-Two-Stroke ever built.)

WARNING!!!
 This step may take days, weeks, months, or even years to complete
because poor running 4-Strokes are extremely rare.


 

 2.   Fill all external cavities, internal cavities, cooling fins,
screw slots, and any other holes, dents, or dimples
with molten lead.
(to simulate excess weight.)


 

3.   Completely remove crankshaft counterbalance with grinder.
(to simulate excess vibration.)


 

4.   Remove all gaskets and seals.
(to simulate poor running qualities.)


 

5.   Install burned out glow plug.
(to simulate poor starting qualities.)


 

6.   Choose propeller at least 2 or 3 sizes smaller than normal.
(to simulate high RPM.)


 

7.   Install prop backwards.
(to simulate poor thrust.)


 

8.   Tighten prop nut, but no more than finger tight.
(to simulate prop throwing tendencies.)


 

9.   Attach propane tank from BBQ gas grill to exhaust outlet.
(to simulate monsterous muffler size.)


 

10.   Add 2 ounces of water to a gallon of zero nitro sport fuel. 
(to simulate unexpected deadsticks.)

Congratulations!!!

You've just completely ruined a perfectly good 4-Stroke, but you now have an engine that has the same weight, the same power, and the same starting, running, and throttling characteristics as the world's best T-Two-Stroke!!!

Now, just imagine what you're going to do with all that money you saved!!!

But.......for you die-hard T-Two-Stroke fanat-tics
who just have to own the most inexpen$ive engine that you can buy......
regardless of performance.......
I've got great news for you too!  For a limited time, I'm offering to do this conversion for you!  And just like the manufacturers who are charging outrageously high prices for T-Two-Stroke engines(?), I solemnly promise that I will charge you the most outrageously high price possible!

In fact, if you can find a more expensive engine of the same displacement,
I promise to double that price......guaranteed!

To order your custom conversion, just click on the link below:

"Dave, I really don't give a $#!+ about performance,
I just want to own the absolute most annoying engine money can buy!"

(Terms:  Buyer must pay in advance.  Please allow 3 to 6 years for delivery.  It's going to take me that long to get up the nerve to ruin a perfectly good 4-Stroke.)
 

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Comments?
E-Mail me at:
dmcdnld@yhti.net


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