Dave McD's
F-F-F-Four-Stroke
Page
 
 
 
This page is dedicated to all of those
 
$Overpriced$
 
-----underpowered-----
 
OVERWEIGHT
Prop Throwing
Paint Shaking
VIBRATING
GNIRIF-KCAB
Boat Anchors
 
whose owners continually ignore their problems
because they think that...
F-F-F-Four-Strokes
Sound So Cool!
  

Keep on scrolling down,
Or use these shortcuts to navigate your way through
Dave McD's F-F-F-Four-Stroke Page:
 
Learn why Two-Strokes are BETTER than F-F-F-Four-Strokes!

Learn the Secret Codes of the F-F-F-Four-Stroke Brand Names
 
Find out if your plane DESERVES a F-F-F-Four-Stroke!
 
Save money by Converting a 2 Stroke to a F-F-F-Four-Stroke!
 
A Scientific Proof that 2-Strokes are Scale Sounding Engines
 
 
Why
F-F-F-Four-Strokes
Suck!
 
They are HARD TO START!

They are HARD TO ADJUST!

They are FUEL HOGS!

They RUN ROUGH!

They are NOT RELIABLE!

They WON'T IDLE!

They have POOR TRANSITION!

They are TOO HEAVY!

They have LESS USABLE POWER!

They are TOO LOUD!

They have an IRRITATING SOUND!

They JUST RUN LIKE $#!+......PERIOD!

 

 Back to Shortcut Index

After an exhaustive 3 minute investigation,
I've finally cracked the

SECRET CODES
of the
F-F-F-Four-Stroke
manufacturers.
 

Almost Spins Propeller

Engine Not Yet Affordable

Heavy Paperweight

Modelers Are Getting Nearly Useless Motor

Many Dead Sticks

Overpriced $tuff

Seizes After It Takes Off

Taiwanese Torture

Wind-up Engine Before Releasing Airplane

Yep! Sucks!

 
 
 Back to Shortcut Index
 Does your plane
DESERVE a
F-F-F-Four-Stroke?
 
 
Finding out is really quite easy.
Just take this little quiz.
 
Sit down, close your eyes, relax and remember when
you were at the flying field with your new plane,
and all of your flying buddies were gathered around it.
 
All you remember hearing was your flying buddies
heaping praise on your magnificent plane,
and also their comments about
your unequaled building and piloting talents.
 
You eagerly answered all of
 their questions about your latest pride and joy!
 
Now think back.
Did you ever say...
or hear:
 
 

"Patch?   WHAT patch?"

"The wing is SUPPOSED to be twisted!"

"It NEEDS all of that left thrust to fly good!"

"Those ragged glue joints were ALWAYS there!"

"The landing gear was DESIGNED to break off!"

"WRECKED?  No!  It's brand new!  Why do you ask?"

"I really didn't need ALL of those wing bolts anyway!"

"Fuel soaked?  No, the kit CAME with colored, greasy wood!"

"Best flying plane I EVER had!"  (others never actually flew)

"Hi!  My name's Fast-Eddie!   I used to own that plane!"


 

If any of these sounded familiar,
then there's no doubt about it:

Your plane definitely deserves a
F-F-F-Four-Stroke!

Back to Shortcut Index



Save Money by Converting a 2-Stroke into a
Simulated F-F-F-Four-Stroke!
 

So you STILL want to own a
F-F-F-Four-Stroke????

But you just can't come up with that much money?
Don't panic!!!

I've got the solution to your problem!
Just follow these ten simple step-by-step instructions
to build your own

Simulated F-F-F-Four-Stroke
engine(?)

for just a fraction of the cost!


1.   Obtain the worst running 2-stroke that you can find.
(to simulate the BEST running F-F-F-Four-Stroke ever built.)

WARNING!!!
 This step may take days, weeks, months, or even years to complete
because poor running 2-strokes are extremely rare.


 

 2.   Fill all external cavities, internal cavities, cooling fins,
screw slots, and any other holes, dents, or dimples
with molten lead.
(to simulate excess weight.)


 

3.   Completely remove crankshaft counterbalance with grinder.
(to simulate excess vibration.)


 

4.   Remove all gaskets and seals.
(to simulate poor running qualities.)


 

5.   Install burned out glow plug.
(to simulate poor starting qualities.)


 

6.   Choose propeller at least 2 or 3 sizes bigger than normal.
(to simulate low RPM.)


 

7.   Install prop backwards.
(to simulate poor thrust.)


 

8.   Tighten prop nut, but no more than finger tight.
(to simulate prop throwing tendencies.)


 

9.   Close or pinch off at least 90% of muffler outlet nipple.
(to simulate pitifully poor power.)


 

10.   Add 2 ounces of water to a gallon of zero nitro sport fuel. 
(to simulate unexpected deadsticks.)

Congratulations!!!

You've just completely ruined a perfectly good 2-stroke,
but you now have an engine that has the same weight, the same power, and the same starting, running, and throttling characteristics as the world's best F-F-F-Four-Stroke!

Now, just imagine what you're going to do with
all that money you saved!!!

 

But.......for you die-hard
F-F-F-Four-Stroke F-F-F-Fanatics
who just have to own the most expen$ive engine that you can buy......
regardless of performance.......
I've got great news for you too!

For a limited time, I'm offering to do this conversion for you!

And just like the manufacturers who are charging outrageously high prices for F-F-F-Four-Strokeengines(?), I solemnly promise that I will charge you the most outrageously high price possible!

In fact, if you can find a more expensive engine of the same displacement,
I promise to double that price......guaranteed!

To order your custom conversion, just click on the link below:

"Dave, I really don't give a $#!+ about performance,
I just want to own most expensive engine money can buy!"

(Terms:  Buyer must pay in advance.  Please allow 3 to 6 years for delivery.  It's going to take me that long to get up the nerve to ruin a perfectly good 2-stroke.)
 

Back to Shortcut Index


The following is a

Scientific Proof  that 2-Strokes are "Scale"
and F-F-F-Four-Strokes are NOT!

Just imagine that after countless hours of effort, you finally completed that Exact Scale P-51 Mustang you always dreamed about!  Even before you soloed, you always imagined yourself flying it!  Now it's finally finished!  It's got an exact scale retractable landing gear...
exact scale flaps...
exact scale paint scheme...
exact scale cockpit...
exact scale pilot...
even exact scale simulated rivets!


  You even powered it with a F-F-F-Four-Stroke
because you thought it would even sound scale!

But wait a minute!!!!
Hold the phone!!!!
Time out!!!!
You are about to make a serious mistake!!!!

Remember how you wanted everything to be exact scale on that P-51?...right down to the exhaust sound?

 Since you went to all of that time and trouble to make an exact scale P-51, don't you think that you need to have an exact scale exhaust sound to go along with your exact scale model of a P-51 Mustang?

Are you thinking of putting a F-F-F-Four-Stroke in it just because you think that a F-F-F-Four-Stroke will sound
"More Scale"
than a 2-Stroke?

Before you waste your time with that F-F-F-Four-Stroke, be sure to carefully read the following scientific proof.
  It will prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that a single cylinder 2-Stroke engine loafing along at about 18,000 rpm sounds almost EXACTLY like a 12 cylinder Rolls-Royce Merlin F-F-F-Four-Stroke huffing and puffing at about 3,000 rpm.

Still don't believe it?
  Then check out this scientific proof:


2 revolutions = 1 exhaust sound pulse

2 revolutions = (12 x 1) exhaust sound pulse

1 revolution = (6 x 1) exhaust sound pulse

(6 exhaust sound pulse) x (3,000 rpm) = 18,000 exhaust pulses per minute

(Oh come on now!...do you really need to see a math formula here?)

36,000 rpm = total f-f-f-four-stroke destruction

2-Stroke= exact scale sound

  f-f-f-four-stroke = (huff + puff) / (crash + burn)

f-f-f-four-stroke = deadstick
 
 

And always keep in mind that just because the full size P-51 happened to be cursed with a 12 cylinder F-F-F-Four-Stroke engine(?) is no reason to ruin
the exact scale sound of your exact scale model!

After all, the futile quest to get more power out of these @#$%&*
F-F-F-Four-Stroke powerplants...engines...motors...ceiling fans
is what inspired the development of the
JET Engine!

 If you LIKED this page, click here...
If you HATED this page, click here...

If you DISLIKE F-F-F-Four-Strokes, click here...
If you LIKE F-F-F-Four-Strokes, click here...

Comments?
E-Mail me at:
dmcdnld@yhti.net


Back to Shortcut Index
Back to Top of Page
Back to Home Page!